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Is it PTSD or ADHD or Both

September 26th, 2009 at 06:49 pm

After reading another bloggers post on the issues she is having due to her husband having ADHD. I am wondering...

Is DHs problem his ADHD, or is it his PTSD or is it both? DH always had a problem with White Lies, promising he would do stuff then never doing it, and needing to spend money. But since he was dignosed with PTSD the inability to see the results of his actions has been a major issue with me.

Do you think it is the PTSD or is it the combination of the two that is making it so bad. I just am so at the end of my rope and this is just another light bulb moment that might explain alot.

I have been thinking lately of talking with a counseler because every day I am noticing I am less and less able to cope with the stressers in my life.

Prior to DH leaving for out of state work, I would ask him to do things around the house since he was home and I was working full time. He could never get to it because he was too busy making time to play xbox 360 and on the computer. My husband wanted me to send him something as he burned through the $1200 blow money that I gave him to last the year in 32 days. I have finally gotten around to doing it because I have been busy taking care of our home and the housework, working full time and being a full time care giver to our son who is extremely needy lately. I think he asked like weekly for a month; I so wanted to tell him "Hay hows it feel to ask and ask for someone to do something and they dont do it because they are BUSY!" Of course my busy and his busy are also two major different things.

Of course I have not said it, but I am wondering if it would be healthier to just come out and say it so that he knows I am not going to tolerate that when he comes home from work.

Posted in Uncategorized | 7 Comments »

7 Responses to “Is it PTSD or ADHD or Both”

  1. dmontngrey Says:
    September 26th, 2009 at 06:58 pm

    Yes, I highly recommend you talk to someone and fast! You need to find someone who specializes in ADHD or things may never get better. This is a MUST in my opinion. We've tried regular counselors and that just never accomplishes anything. Haven't explored the ones that specialize in this yet, but I already understand that will be our only option should we pursue counseling again. If you're up for it, read and learn about ADHD. I'm really enjoying the book I'm reading and you can learn about it here: http://adultadhdbook.com/ Even the website might offer you quite a bit of insight.

    I am lucky that I even know ONE person in similar shoes. Unfortunately, most people don't understand how ADHD works. It can be hard to find people that understand. Now's the time to figure out how to help YOU... then him. Smile

  2. crazyliblady Says:
    September 26th, 2009 at 08:25 pm

    Since he burned through $1200 so quickly, would it be better to send him smaller amounts monthly or something so it is more regulated? Just a thought . . .

  3. FrugalFish Says:
    September 27th, 2009 at 06:22 am

    I would lean towards it being both, and that the problem probably needs to be addressed gently, and does need to be addressed. Is he in counseling for his PTSD? People with PTSD sometimes use distraction as a means of avoiding the stress; problem is that only works for so long before it catches up to them. It is also physically and mentally exhausting to feel that level of anxiety (he may not even be aware of how much stress he feels- because he tries to avoid and ignore it), so it wouldn't be very surprising that he doesn't find the energy to get things done.

    I imagine that must be a pretty heavy load to carry for you, and you probably don't feel like your needs are being met in the relationship at this time. I hope you can help him help himself. Best of luck.

  4. Ima saver Says:
    September 27th, 2009 at 07:19 am

    what does PTSD mean?

  5. creditcardfree Says:
    September 27th, 2009 at 07:28 am

    Ima, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It's often diagnosed in soldiers returning from war, but can result from other traumatic situations.

  6. CouponAddict Says:
    September 27th, 2009 at 08:23 am

    I checked out the website and then ordered a new book from amazon.com since they were the cheapest.

    I hope this will help. I am just so tired of all the disfunction.

  7. dmontngrey Says:
    September 27th, 2009 at 10:20 am

    You will "LOVE" the book. It says right in it that it's your book, do what you want, yell at it if you want. So far all I've wanted to do is beat myself over the head with it. I was just getting to the part I wanted to read when I stupidly left it at work for the weekend. Oh well, back to it tomorrow. I got mine at Amazon too. Only $1.98 since I had some Amazon credits. Smile
    The book is laid out very nicely in that you can skip around and read each article on its own. Articles are only 1-5 pages and written for the ADHD mind. You really do have to take charge and do something for YOU right now. I was so burnt out and tired of solving all the world's problems. I don't even have a kid or PTSD thrown in the mix!! These problems wear you down in ways you don't even know about. Best wishes as you start the journey in the right direction!

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